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Letter to myself by OneOutOf6

I have been broken but I haven’t been beat I have spoken and I won’t admit defeat, faced my en-emy and I faced my fear no matter what he did to me I’m still here he took away my youth and he took away my choice but I now speak my truth ’cause he couldn’t take my voice I can take the pain because i became strong he can keep the shame cause that’s where it belongs, who I used to be is no longer who I am and if they all refuse to see I do not give a damn I used to feel weak so I would not tell now they’ll hear me speak and he can rot in hell, memories i have repressed are getting me depressed but I’m gonna do my best, it’s hard and I’m scarred and the pain is real but the stigma in my brain I plan to heal. Every day I grow and even though I know it goes slow I still go. I’m happy go luckily when I’m manic but F*** me when I start to panic then the depression kicks in sad for a minute then I’m manic again, at times I can’t catch my breath my mind gets consumed with death not mine, his it could save a lot of kids if i did put him in the ground but my son really needs me around, needs me to love and protect him put him above me and never neglect him, almost like I can make up for what happened to me by writing and being the best father I can be.but it’s hard with C-PTSD and possibly BPD not sure cause I’m not insured and damn sure not cured not by a long shot find myself in the wrong spot, so to keep my mind right where it needs to be I wrote this letter to me.

About the Creator

OneOutOf6

Just a male survivor trying to conquer the stigma.

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